Upset And Alone

Right now, I've been feeling as though i'm left out.  People coming towards me just for help and whenever i do, they just dont respond until a very long time later.  It's very frustrating and I'm startin to think that I'm being the one casted away; as if im unwanted.  This isn't the only time it's been happenin to me, probably the 4th.  Not only dat, I feel as though i'm getting farther and farther away from the warmth of these friends of mine.  Am i not interesting enough or is it cuz i keep miself a lil too distant.  I'm not sure, but I'm becoming to be bored.  I mean, today wuz fun cuz it wuz fun to hang out with them and play monopoly and joke around.  Idk anymore.  I feel as if i should just branch away, but whenever, I do that, those who i have been friends with believe i'm just casting them away.

Like b4, during freshman yr, I did dat to the ppl i first hung out with.  However, as more came over, I felt rather the same way.  Which is y i left and went instead to the library; where i met the ppl who i'm befriending now.  soon though, there wuz a food fight and when i wuz frustrated cuz i never got 2 see it. One of the former friends that I sat nxt seemed bitter and said, "cuz u dont' come by the lunch room anymore"  I felt disturbed as if he had a grudge against that.

I don't know, what im going to do.  for now, though, i'm just gonna go with the flow: if it doesn't work out, then I'll just branch out again.

COOKING

Creamy Walnut Shrimp (I tried it and it was great)

HOW TO REFRIGERATE/EXPIRATION DATE
Steak:
For 1lb: 5 min
Cover both sides of prime rib with half stick of butter
Fully scatter sea salt and black pepper; smother on both sides
Put steak on aluminum foil
Heat oven at 500 when light turns off, immediately put the steak in and cover
The light should be back on
For 7 min, heat steak at 500
Then DONT OPEN DOOR, just slowly turn off the oven n let it rest there in that temperature for 2hrs

Spinach:

A package is good enough for about 3 people.
        WARNING: JUST CUZ IT LOOKS A LOT DOESNT MEAN, IT IS WHEN IT'S DONE COOKING - APPLIES TO LEAFY VEGES

3 cloves of minced garlic

Let it evaporate for like 1-2 minutes, then scoop out excess water, leaving some water behind

3 tablespoon of soysauce: trust me, it's supposed to look like vegetables, NOT SOUP ppl.

Seasoning: salt and msg
Try to put like a dash of each and little by little continue seasoning it, until you find the taste satisfactory.
         WARNING: PUT EVEN A TABLESPOON OF EACH IS DANGEROUS, THE TASTE WILL PROVE TO BE OVERPOWERING.

WHOLE COOKING TAKES LIKE 5 MIN.

Lumpia shanghai
Ingredients
1lb of diced pork
1lb of diagonally sliced string beans
1 lb of diced tofu
1lb of grazed carrots (looks like orange strands)
1 lb of minced shrimp
6 tablespoons of garlic

Cooking process
Stir fry each of the seperate lbs with 1tablespoon of the garlic
(*the string beans should take about 8 min, they should be soft yet firm) ( the meat should be seasoned when separately stir fried with 2 tablespoons each of salt and msg)
MIX together and stir fry after stir frying each separately and season with 2 teaspoons each of salt and msg

Lumpia sauce: ( compliments lumpia shanghai)
Ingredients
1/2 C sugar
1tbsp. Soy sauce
2 C broth
1 tsp. salt
2 tbsp. cornstarch dispersed in 1/4 c of water
4-6 cloves garlic, minced

Cooking Process
Blend first 4 ingredients together. Bring to boil. Thicken with cornstarch solution. Sprinkle with minced garlic and serve.

Fruit salad recipe:
Ingredients
1large can fruit cocktail
For each fruit: 1cup of cleaned sliced fruits (don't use fruits like oranges or similar)
3/4 C nata de coco
14 oz condensed milk
8 oz table/med cream or all purpose cream

Cooking Procedure
1) drain the juice from the fruit cocktail and transfer  the canned fruits in a bowl
2) combine the fruit cocktail, the nata de coco, and all the other fruits, then toss carefully
3) add the condensed milk, and mix gently so the fruits stay intact
4) add the cream then mix again, make sure the cream is properly distributed amongst the fruits
5) refrigerate for at least 3 hours
6) serve chilled
YIELDS 6 Servings
PANLASANG PINOY.COM

The Best Blueberry Pancakes Recipe

Total Time: 35-45 minutes

Yield: 4 servings (12 pancakes)

INGREDIENTS:

For the streusel:

• 1/2 cup old-fashioned oats
• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 tablespoons dried blueberries
• 2 tablespoons light brown sugar
• 4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted

For the pancakes:

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 2 large eggs
• 3 cups buttermilk
• 4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted
• Vegetable oil for greasing the griddle
• 2 cups fresh blueberries
• 1 cup pure maple syrup, for serving

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Combine oats, flour, dried blueberries, and brown sugar on a small rimmed baking sheet; drizzle with butter and toss to coat. Bake, stirring occasionally, until toasted and browned, about 15 minutes. Let cool. 
2. To make the pancake batter, whisk flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. Whisk eggs, buttermilk, and butter in a liquid measuring cup; pour into dry ingredients and mix until just combined. Lumps are good!
3. Heat a large griddle to 350°F or a nonstick skillet over medium heat and lightly coat with oil. Working in batches, pour heaping 1/4 cupfuls of batter onto griddle and top each with 5-6 blueberries. Cook pancakes until bottoms are golden brown. A good indication they’re ready to flip is when edges are dry and bubbles burst on top, leaving tiny craters, about 3-5 minutes. Flip and cook about 2 minutes longer.
4. Serve pancakes topped with syrup and streusel.

Sweet and Spicy Potato Oven Fries

Top 13 Recipes of 2013

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Mushrooms and Chestnuts in sauce over rice

Kiritanpo Hot Pot

Anegawa Grilled Pig Innards

Sauteed Sea Bream (Tempura Style)

Seafood Risotto

Yuzuke: Nobunaga Style

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Spaghetti-Carbonara-II/Detail.aspx?evt19=1

Possible Internships AND PROGRAMS

http://www.dosomething.org/about/team/internships#HighSchool

https://www.nyhistory.org/education/internships/high-school-internships

http://www.nypl.org/afterschool

SCHOLARSHIPS

http://www.cacafoundation.org/

http://www.asianpacificfund.org/information-for-student-applicants

https://www.collegeanswer.com/scholarships/category/minority-scholarships/details/index.aspx?type=Filipino&catID=10&majorID=0

http://tall.org/

http://siouxlandnews.upickem.net/engine/Welcome.aspx?contestid=84256

http://www.scholarships360.org/contact-lens-glasses-scholarship/

http://scholarshipsnoessay.com/scholarships-for-people-with-glasses/

http://www.acen.org/blog/?tag=scholarship

http://www.urpa.com/scholarship.html

Scholar Athlete Milk Mustache of the Year (The milk drinker scholarship)

http://www.scholarships360.org/say-bullying-scholarship/

http://scholarshipzone.com/scholarship-application

http://www.possefoundation.org

https://www.commonapp.org/ca4app/AppAccount/Register

http://www.studyabroad.com/

http://www.study-abroad-uk.com/

http://www.iesabroad.org/

http://www.peopletopeople.com/

http://www.afsusa.org/study-abroad/high-school-abroad/

http://glasslab.engr.ccny.cuny.edu/u/brianvh/index.html

http://www.rockefeller.edu/outreach/snp

http://nycmathmatters.org/outreach-new-goals/

http://test.freeartsnyc.org/wp-content/docs/TAPApplication-InternshipProgram.pdf

http://www.btny.org/volunteer/

http://girlswhocode.com/applynow/

Hmm, let me try dis schedule

6:30 - Wake up

7:00 - Early Morning Tea

7:30 - Go to School

9:00 - Breakfast

AMOUNT OF PROTEIN

The recommended daily allowance of protein for children is as follows:

• Ages 1-3 ….. 13 grams
• Ages 4-6 ….. 19 grams
• Ages 9-13 … 34 grams
• Girls ages 14 -1 8 … 46 grams
• Boys ages 14-18 … 52 grams

MEATLESS PROTEIN

Most Americans eat more protein than they need. This is easy to understand when we stop thinking of protein as coming from meat alone. While a three ounce piece of meat has about 21 grams of protein, other foods are also excellent sources.

• 1 cup of beans has 16 grams of protein
• 1 yogurt has about 11 grams
• 1 cup of milk has 8 grams
• 1 egg has 6 grams
• 1/2 cup of tofu has 10 grams

$ interesting CUSTOM

Things that seem interesting

cafepress.org

Meeting Again

  Hey.  Guess who i met tis afternoon on my way to the library! It was Kathleen, an old middle school friend. haha ha-ha.....well, yeh.  When I saw her going back into her home, I was reluctant to call her out.  I don't know why I did but I did.  I was freaked out, thinkin what the fuck am i doing.  She came out with her little brother.  He was so adorable! I think he was 1 yr and 3 months old.  Well, when i started talking to her, I talked to her about junior year and how was cheerleading.  The conversation was going pretty normal; surprisingly...  Then we got to the topic of her still meeting up with the rest of the gang, christel, kianna, claranork, and clarissa.  Well, she didn't really talk about christel, but she tended to talk more about kianna.  It turns out the so-called BFF broke to pieces.  I mostly wasn't really surprised about that.  Kianna back then would tell me how Kathleen would be like stripper on oovoo or something.  She would talk about kathleen behind her back sometimes but at dat time, she treated kathleen as a best friend, i think.  I guess, the only reason why was because kianna had me to make fun of most of the time; the nice, innocent, loyal girl who was completely ignorant.  I remember, once I started getting out of the picture, she started doing that to Claranork and Clarissa.  And now since, all three of us are outta the picture, she (ding!ding!) chose the unfortunate victim: Kathleen.  Oh well, at least one slave has been rescued.  She clearly and strongly sees the truth of Kianna  But unfortunately, Christel is the only one left in the long ago groupie.  Oh yeh, she also talked bad about christel.  God, bless her soul.  The reason I'm not helping her is because one, i have no substantial connection to her, and second, just like how i was those 3-5 years ago; i didn't believe the shit about kianna which was actually the truth. Just like the crap Kianna had told her that I was talking crap about her, Christel would not believe me on this matter. Ironically, Kianna would also sometime talk crap about Christel. the one i remember was how christel would be clingy and how that was annoying.  Kathleen told me how Kianna was not growin up and still remainin the way she was those very 3 years ago.  She said people would talk crap about her and kianna would just agree with them.  Well, i wasn't really surprised about dat cuz you know of peer pressure tends to make you believe or doubt.  Even a "great friendship" won't stay together or be cracked by mass rumors.  Furthermore, Kianna told Kathleen how she hated everyone and weren't something like true or acceptin but then the nxt day, would treat them as if they were best friends.  But the minute they disagreed with her opinions or didn't listen to her, she would break them off as if they were nothing.  Looks like I was wrong when I thought that she didn't change, but hey she could've I couldn't just one hundred percent believe kathleeen you know: she wuz the same as kianna from what I know. But for some reason, I felt like Kathleen wasn't lying when she asked for my forgiveness about what she and kianna had done to me and others back those very 3 years ago.  When she was explaining about how horrible it was that they've done, she looked as if she wuz on the verge of tears.  I don't know if I'm right, but her apology felt genuine.  When she asked for my forgiveness, it turned out she didn't have to.  To my inner surprise, I realized that I've already forgiven her and kianna from long ago.  I had the notion that I already did but I wasn't too sure about it.  I smiled with utmost sincere and told her not to worry about it that it was in the past; it made me smile that she would continuesly apoligize and say what i did was still wrong.  I never knew that Kathleen had this side towards her.  Heck, I never even knew that I could talk to her like this in a kind of close friendly manner.  It's been 3 years and Kathleen had been the only one who's apoligized.  Christel, Kianna, heck, maybe even the other haven't apologized for the trauma that I've received those 3-5 years ago.  Even though, I figured that I'd been forgived her, it just makes me happy how she acknowleded what she did was wrong and decided to apoligize, considering how I've felt about the matter.  Thinking about it now, I feel kind of grateful to Kianna.  If it wasn't for her, I could probably never talk to kathleen and smile with her like this.  Also, i felt as if kathleen and i had never been friends to each other as if we were just using kianna as an excuse to be together.  Did we truly consider each other as friends or someone who was just there.  I could tell the same notion had occured to Kathleen when she was hesistant and unsure of how to have a conversation with me.  She tried to cover that up though, teehee.  Oh well, I could actually have a new beginning with Kathleen.    What made me feel sad was that kianna had still not changed from the tyranical person she was.  She, just as Kathleen had said, a bipolar two-faced person who would throw out anyone she didn't agree with or need.  In my opinion, furthermore, i deducted that kianna could actually be someone insecure and felt or was scared that she was losing control of the so-called groupie that she was the leader of 3 years ago.  Maybe I'm right.  Maybe I'm wrong.  Kathleen had already apologized to Claranork and now they are talkin more and more often.  Kathleen, howevor, still hates Clarissa: calling her family "crazy" and clarissa's supposedly hateful attitude.  Christel, she barely talked about her but it looked like she didn't want to talk about it; so i let it slide.  Oh yeh, she has a boyfriend who's like 20; he treats her and well.  She broke up with him once because of his age, but they got back together.  She even knows that whenever she breaks up with a boyfriend, she tries to find someone to replace them. --> I already knew that but had kept quiet.  Well, that's all, and we wished the best of life towards each other.  I'm glad that I called her out at that moment; if i didn't, we probably wouldn't have talked about this.  I feel as if a burden has been alleviated and that I'm breathin easier which is wierd.  I don't know I feel different in, lol corny, my heart in a good way. :)

PISSED

im so pissed at mi mother ; right now, im supposed to be on wait for any job opportunities after graduating from a school. i get a chance and guess wth mi own mother does?  She DELETES it.  LIKE WTF?!?!? WOMAN, U PAY AT LEAST 1000 FOR DAT SCHOOLING AND I GET AN OPPORTUNITY AND U JUST DELETE IT?!?!? ARE U F-ING KIDDING ME??!!! I'm just so irritated, so irritated at how retarded she did tis.  I cannot believe tis blasphemy!!!! sigh, how stupid is dis crap!!!! DAMN IT!!!!! not in a good mood, well peace out.